I enjoy being a girl

This might sound crazy, but there have been times in my life - ok, most of my life - when I've had to remind myself that I am a girl, and that it's ok. Not in a questioning-my-gender sort of way. I mean, I know I'm a girl, I know what team I play for. I'm talking about girly things, the liking of, and admitting to it. I'm not sure when or how it even started. As a kid I was all about dress-up, and barbies and my little ponies and ohmygosh, strawberry shortcake! But somewhere along the way I got this idea in my head that it wasn't cool to be feminine, that liking girly stuff was ridiculous, and for years I told myself that I'm just not the girly sort. Total. Lie. But because of it I spent years not wearing much make-up, never getting dressed up, or having a "real" haircut, or any of those other things that girly girls do and that I secretly loved but told myself were ridiculous. Then I had a daughter. For the first 8 months of our pregnancy, I was planning a totally neutral nursery, no pink, no frills, no girly stuff. I wasn't that kind of girl. But the more I thought about our daughter, what it meant to have a daughter, the more I moved away from the gender-neutral theme. And then she was born and I was like "use ALL The Pinks!" and I may have even let her wear ruffles and flowers and fuzzy bunnie slippers. Totally different from the girl who had a hard time planning her wedding because really, truly, I had never thought or dreamed of a wedding since I was 12 and Kevin Smith from DC TAlk was going to fall in love with me for my angelic singing voice (so. much. shame!)
Then we had a second daughter, and by then I was even starting to wear pink myself. Because, youknow, when in Rome and all that. Fast forward a few years to our 3rd pregnancy. Something about this one really flipped a switch in me. I found myself craving beauty, all kinds of beauty, girly, earthy, sparkly, natural, unnatural, I wanted it all. Makeup, hair, clothes, grace, ladylike manners, a well-decorated home and a manicure. And for the first time in my life I was really, truly willing to embrace the knowledge that THERE IS NOTHING WRONG with that. I know, I'm a big ol' box full of crazy, right? Don't judge, it was real for me! Once those twins were born, I knew I was ready to make some serious changes, to embrace a side of myself I had ignored for years and told myself never existed. I'm not gonna lie, dropping 30 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight (thank you, twins!) didn't hurt one bit. Looking in the mirror suddenly wasn't akin to water-boarding. I knew I wanted to do something to embrace this new (old) girly side of myself that had finally burst free. SO. I did what every rational person does. I invested in a new business and signed up to be a Mary Kay beauty consultant. Me. The girl who "doesn't even wear make-up." Because, HELLO. I love make-up. I love colors and making my face pretty. Disclaimer - this doesn't mean you'll see me sporting blue eyeshadow any time soon. I'm still me. I still like the nuetral, natural look. Just with a little pizazz and a dab of lip gloss. Second disclaimer - yes, I recognize that my face is pretty without make-up, that we ladies don't need beauty products to make ourselves lovely and that true beauty comes from within. I get that. BUT. We ladies also love expressing that beauty outwardly. Make-up, hair, clothing - those are just different forms of expression. And I am so ready to express myself!!!
This is hard for me, because this is an area where I feel so vulnerable. But I want to spread the beauty love, like a beauty ambassador, to all my lady friends. Because surely I'm not the only one who has struggled with the idea that girly-ness is ok. Am I? Maybe? Well, I still want to share beauty with all the lovely women around me. Not just make-up. Real beauty. Maybe that means getting together for a facial or some pampering, or trying out a new shade of eyeshadow. Maybe while we are at it we can share a cup of coffee and girl talk. It seems like it's a place to start, at least. And I'm so ready to start.


Oh, and also - family of 6! So much fun!