just checking in...

3 weeks goes by so fast. This happens to me every fall... I get all excited, because yay! Fall is here! and then I get all wrapped up in.. whatever.. and bam! it's gone. And I'm sad.

But I'm trying really hard not to do that this year.

I'm trying to be present, to not miss things going on around me. So instead I miss things like checking in on my blog. Or doing the laundry. And then I resolve not to miss those things either, which in turn means I miss something else. Being me is exhausting.

Seriously, though. I really am trying much harder .. to pay attention, which is oh, so hard for me to do. To make things a little more manageable, I gave myself a schedule. Or rather, I started making myself pay attention to the schedule I made for myself about a year ago. It's a simple schedule - Mondays I do this, Tuesdays I do this, and so on, and so forth, but it helps, A LOT, in those moments where I'm really struggling to keep my head above water, wandering aimlessly around my destroyed-by-toddlers home and wondering what the heck I was doing, or supposed to be doing. That usually ended with me overwhelmed and seeking the soothing mindlessness of Pinterest, where I'd see some awesome something or other I wanted to do, and then jump up, start another mess, only to promptly forget about it because someone is screaming about something. Nope. Not any more. Now, I just think to myself, "This is Thursday. Today I clean the girls' rooms. That's what I was doing." And then I plop down in front of the computer and lose myself in Pinterest. Sure, it's not perfect. But it's helping. Our house looks a little less desperate these days, and I feel a little less manic. I'll take it.

So, all that to say that I'm really trying to enjoy fall this year. I actually got (most of) our Halloween decorations up in a timely manner. I've made soup 3 times already. I got to wear my fuzzy boots in the morning. This weekend, I have big plans for a bonfire, and hot cider, something, anything pumpkin related (most likely muffins. Who doesn't love muffins?) and all of this is much easier to do because I know what is (for the most part) expected of each day. Sure, some days I get thrown for a loop because the car dies, or the girls choose to have supreme-o meltdowns at exactly the same time (every time!), but that's life. My new (old) schedule is my rock, my fortress of solitude in the midst of the swirling chaos of life with toddlers.

What I'm saying is, I love my schedule. and I love fall. The end.